Battle of Wits: Onome And Andy Fights Dirty Over Husband Cutting His WIfe With Plier (Photos)
What could have gone wrong with a couple who couldnt see any fault in each other 11 months ago? Could any amount of provocation warrant the assault? Did the husband act in self defense?
To enlighten us on these issues, Blog readers Onome and Andy battled it out in an epic outburst of parallel opinions.
Onome Fumes:
Men of these days are evil. There can never be any justification for violence. Only an animal would raise his hand on a woman let alone his wife.... No matter the circumstances u shouldn't raise your filthy hands on ur woman... The guy should be locked up in a zoo
GOD hates divorce! Really? Does GOD love men who batter their wives to a pulp? Does He approve of people being beaten to death while the children watch traumatised? Does ‘until death do us part’ mean that your partner has the authority to kill you?!
Biko, I beg, if some man (or woman) is beating you – Run! Flee! Disappear! Vanish like a Ninja! Get out of there to save your life, your dignity, your self-respect and your sanity! He will NOT change! Please. Hear. Word – He will NOT change! Batterers do NOT change. Not without years of psychological counselling and self-introspection. And despite all that, most still continue battering their victims!
Ignore your pastor and Imam – that same religious leader will officiate at your funeral, give a moving eulogy about your short life, and call your batterer ‘a good husband’. Stop praying and fasting and wishing and hoping! Gather your broken ribs, shattered jaw, black eyes,twisted arm, bruised torso, yanked-out hair, broken- down self while you can still walk or crawl out of there, and get yourself out.
You are battered. You are bruised. You are crushed. Your dignity is gone. He has ground your self-worth under foot. You believe you are
useless, ugly, lazy, fat, stupid, worthless, etc etc – all the names he/she regularly calls you. The harsh words have battered you even worse than the hard fists.
Yes, you feel like you still love him. You desperately hope he will change. You cling to memories of the good days/weeks/months when he doesn’t turn you into his punching bag and think if only you can change, then he will stop battering you. He has told you the abuse is your fault and now you believe him
You are NOT useless. You are NOT worthless. You are NOT ugly. You are NOT stupid. You are NOT undesirable. You are beautiful, smart, valuable, and greatly loved by the ones who know your worth. Do not let another person’s warped opinions shape your self-image. Do not let their words hijack your brains and emotions.
Leave today. Not tomorrow. Not the day after.
You are worth it. Your life is worth it. I would always say woman if ur husband is a wife beater and you still want to remain as in for better for worse things,just kip touts around such that it would only be a matter of a phone call ,and dey beat him up at he junction. in this way God is directly fighting your battle. if the man is having psychiatric problem I guess he can check in to a mental facility from there.
Even if he saw her in bed with another man the wise thing to do is to throw her out of his house not to chop her up like a barbarian taking into consideration that she has a 3 month old baby that cannot have been the case so your stand is rubbish. No matter what she has done.. No matter what led to this.. No woman deserves to be treated in such an inhumane manner. If a woman is unfaithful, divorce her. It's not your right to unleash any form of horror on her. She is not your property. She is a human being!!
Mental evaluation has become absolutely necessary before marriage because men of these days are mere monsters
People asking stupid questions and trying to justify a barbaric act I have some questions also for you; Haven't you heard or seen a cheating husband who always raises his hand anytime the wife questions his philanderings? Haven't heard or seen a man who needs no excuse to lash out brutally on a woman just because he enjoys it?
We keep asking silly and unwarranted questions when we aren't on the receiving side! People should learn to keep quiet and stop spreading their stupidity around all in the name of making contrary comments!! So if she had died we will go to her grave to hear her own side of the story! Any idiot who trys this nonsense with me will regret the day he asked me "Will you marry me"? Not all women tolerates this nonsense! I don't need my brothers to deal with such fool, I will personally deal with him! Na the idiot go come family meeting!
Society has a hand in this. Most people are lured into marriage even when they know they are not compatible from the start. They always want to try it out because society mounts so much pressure on them to get married. I am glad this did not lead to death of one of the parties. The issue of domestic violence is becoming too rampant. Sometime in the past,a female banker was allegedly killed by her husband and so many more. I think we must begin to discuss these issues and find solutions before it becomes worse. The church, society, advocacy groups and the government need to do something about this ugly trend.
I don't care who is at fault, even if the wife is 100 percent as fault, the man is still an animal. A savage who deserves jail term. That's how some people will be justifying abusers under that lame 'there are always two sides to the story' crap! Tufia!
Another alternative is this if she wants her own pound of flesh, She should forgive and accept the husband back.. Then after the healing let her lace his dinner with overdose of sleeping pill while the husband will be enjoying his long sleep or unconsciousness, She should tie him up and use brand new razor blade and slash his ear exactly the same way he did hers, after that then she can take off with her baby in Usain Bolt and Okagbere style combined and then call a doctor to go patch him up
Shikena.
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Andy has this to say
70% of these women bashing this man on social media are very bitter because they no see husband marry and thats why they are so mad.. The rest may even do worse than this man considering they venom they spit on people like me with contrary but sound opinions. I enjoy it when people hurl stones on me for revealing hidden truth and telling it to their faces. I am not a hypocrite. I am a realist. Take it or leave it, I am married for 13 years without raising a finger on my wife. My wife is reading us. Ask me the secret and I will tell you. We never get angry at the same time and if we do, My wonderful wife always keeps quiet and apologize whenever she sees that i am very pissed. She controls herself and apologizes without qquestioning who was right or wrong. That weakens me on the knee and i will end up on my knee begging her. that is what a wise woman does..
Women, Please take the message and leave sentiments apart. The way marriages are crashing these days is worrisome. Mothers no longer train their daughters. Mothers like Joseph Yobo's mother in law are the problem we have today. It's true sometimes things don't work out the way you think they should in marriage,and sometimes couples quarrel a great deal and call each other names but I'd rather storm out of the house and stay out for days than do this sort of thing to my wife,cos definitely we will reconcile and I will always see the ugly scar I gave to her,it will be disheartening.
I do not support or condone domestic violence of any shade but most women of today has lost it . If you married a hot tempered man, Why not learn to manage him with silence and patience and then speak up when he must have cooled down. I tell you that about 75% of domestic violence emanates from homes where a man has temper issues and the woman does not know when to shut up and apologize no matter who was wrong. Is it better if you did not control your self and start making noise about who is right or wrong and then an ugly fight erupts and then your neighbors will rush in and see your nakedness? Then as a typical woman, you will start leveling all sorts of false allegations against your husband in other to buy sympathy from the same neighbors who will soon retire to their homes and mock you behind close doors.
The sad truth is that not all men or even women have the heart or grace to endure when provocation continues after they are already angry and hurt. People should start listening to the voice of wisdom to get certain situations solved before it escalates. Yes the man maybe soberly and reflective by now but has what led to the action been identified? Can it be avoided next time? Would there be another day?
From what I heard of this stupid yet unfortunate lawyer who cut his wife's ear with Plier, His wife provoked him. I am not supporting his cowardly act but there was provocation, The woman got a CS without informing the husband. What sane married woman takes such heavy decision alone without the husband and its not as if she was going to pay for it and worse is that the doctor did not even advise her to have a CS?
The bible preaches submission, Even if the both of you are hot tempered and angry at the same time, the woman must submit to avoid calamity because women have more emotional control than men and thats why God mandated submission.
Hypocrites have flooded cyber space again with holier than thou comments. One of my male friend was even blasting this man on Facebook and was busy tagging a girl he is toasting so that the girl will see him as a perfect gentle man while deepdown, he is rotten and smokes weed codedly. No one asks the question, what led to this? No one imagines that something leads to something. Every hypocrite is blaming the man as usual. after wearing customized t shirts and playn Romeo and Juliet. No one realises that no man intentionally leaves every other woman, marries a particular woman with the sole intention to maltreat, beat or kill his wife. No one ever imagines that even women change faster than men after marriage.
Take a look at the pre wedding photos and tell me why the hell this woman suddenly looks like an old woman. Which man will take that mess and be happy. some will blame the man and the pregnancy but i tell you guys that most women push their husbands into hating them with their dirtyness and i dont care attitude once they get married and have a child. What led to cutting of the woman's ear, no one is asking. The saints are commenting. Can't you saints imagine that the man has been talking but the pulled off ear never listened to him? Can't you imagine that the ear was pulled off as a rude lesson after several warnings that fell on the deaf ear? Same story everywhere.
On the day of the said incident, The woman had earlier smashed the windscreen of the mans new car then later that night, the same woman descended on her house help and wanted to kill her before the husband intervened and the said woman told him "i have been waiting for you to come and support her again" then she, who is also hot tempered attacked the husband with a kitchen knife before the man picked up the plier.
For those shouting divorce, Divorce her if you cant tolerate her, yes Divorce is good and ok but please pause and consider this, What about the monies spent on marriage rites and every other expense? What about the betrayal? What about the precious time wasted? A friend who recently got married at a village called Nkwelle in Imo State, spent almost 7 million for his wedding. Over 2 million for settling the girls family first. What do you think will happen when a young struggling man coughs out all his life saving just to wife the said expensive girl only for the girl to start sleeping around with the entire neighborhood tomorrow? How do you tell such man to divorce his wife? where and how will he recoup? For the new generation women who suddenly feel their mothers were stupid for managing their husbands with respect and unquestioned loyalty.. you are the cause of the high rate of divorce in this country.
This is not America.. In America, The cost of weddings are often very cheap and often shared. There is no long list from the brides family before marriage. Becoming American in Nigeria is the problem with todays woman. You gender equality and women liberation ladies should focus on fighting the high cost of marriage because in reality, Nigerian parents especially igbo's do sell their daughters with exorbitant marriage list and rites. When a man spends millions just to make you his wife, he subconsciously feels he owns you. If you want to be an equal in a relationship, please make sure that the whole marriage expenses was shared 50/50. Make sure that family upkeep and financial obligations is also shared equally. Say no to spousal abuse of any manner is all i preach. Disrespecting and shouting at your husband is also spousal abuse and for you new generation of mad woman making noise about gender equality and shit, get ready for hell if you cannot learnt to submit and hold your peace when your man is angry. if you aint ready for loyalty and submission, please buy a dildo and remain single.
QED
Well there you have it guys.
Between Onome and Andy, Who has a genuine point?