Sex before marriage is a two way thing. Some people especially the religious folks prech abstainance before marriage. The idea was good until people with sexual issues began to hide under the morality toga to deceive unsuspecting would be partners into a life time of anguish and pain.
On todays battle of wits, Blog readers Maryrose, Eddy,Onome,Sally and Chizoba slug it out
Maryrose:
There's a bond that sex create between two that has intimacy or canal knowledge of each other which ordinarily wouldn't have been there if there was no sex. It confuses real love creating illusion and lust especially when the guy or the girl is good in bed. It makes man not to think with his head cos his erections detects and directs his decision.
Sex before marriage is the main cause of infidelity in married women today. The reason being that after having sex with various men with variation of manhood and style and later married a different man with different kind of manhood, urge and style, in their inner mind they keep desiring for the former.
No woman is insatiable except the ones that has had sex before marriage. And no penis is too small or too big for any lady if it is the one that starts with that lady from unset.
Women's urge for sex depends on how they are being used and how the person handles them.
On the other hand, if any man or woman have had sex before and now want to marry another person different from the person he/she has been having sex with my secrete advise is for him or her to try to do same in other to find their compatibility or else frustration, despise, disregard and disrespect will set in. As well as regret cos no matter how rich and good a man is and can't satisfy/handle his wife very well in bed, he is nothing before the woman. All you see them do is show and cover up. And no matter how beautiful and kind a woman is and can't satisfy her hubby in bed, the man will end up having a mistress that is helping him to keep his marriage going.
Imagine marrying a virgin, is u that will teach her sex and lead her to climax or orgasm. And the hole you created in her will sure be compatible with the size of your manhood.
- Maryrose is married with 3 kids
Wilson:
Honestly, i think it's actually IMPORTANT to have sex with your partner that you're serious about before marriage. trust me, it becomes an essential part of a relationship, & if you don't satisfy each other in bed - you won't act satisfied out of bed - it makes a difference.
there's a lot you can learn about someone after having sex with them, not just physically, but emotionally. believe it or not, some peoples feelings change after they've had sex with a person, EVEN if they've been in a long-term relationship.
unless you're very religious & traditional, i don't see why having sex before marriage should concern you. it's natural. & if it's with someone you love & are serious about, then the only difference marriage would make, is knowing you did it after signing a piece of paper, (not as important if you already know how you feel about someone).Honestly, how can you make a life long commitment to each other BEFORE connecting on EVERY level.
Naturally , our process goes- physically, mentally, then sexually. Figuring out, you don;t connect on a sexual level would be a pretty important aspect in my opinion before going ahead and marrying someone.
Then there's the freaks who don't dare to KISS each other till marriage.
Religion instills fear in people to follow this, that, tell them people are orange and tthey'll believe they'll orange because they're threaten wihth hell. And for some reason, they are scared as **** about hell.
Go interact with people sexually, you need to in order to fully understand and determine a significant other.
I've personally tried abstaining from sex before marriage. It's not a healthy lifestyle choice for most people. Sexual desire is normal and healthy, and it isn't a good idea to not satisfy it until getting married. You may rush into marriage just to have sex, which is a bad idea.
Sex before marriage is ok for couples in a committed relationship, who are of age and capable of making of responsible decisions. Marriage should be commitment for life or at least for the long-term. Many couples are not ready to take this big step and should wait until they are definitely ready for marriage. Therefore having sex or living together before marriage can be a good gauge for whether the couple is ready for a marital commitment.
Sex is what humans are made to do. We feel sexual urges because that is what we are supposed to feel! It is unhealthy to just compress those feelings instead of going ahead and having a wonderful, satisfying experience that is completely natural and what almost all living organisms do. Do animals think "Oh, I can't reproduce with that lion, we are not married"? Of course not! Because marriage is a social construct created by dumb humans. We were made to feel attraction and act upon it. Sex is not wrong as long as it is consensual, meaning the ones engaging in the activity are both legally old enough to consent and want to do it. The world has changed, and I personally believe that God is there, but he does not want for us to suppress our sexual urges, he just wants us to follow our conscience and make what we think is the best choice.
Chizoba Blazin:
Sex b4 marriage is a sin in the eye of God, a good/strong christian is not suppose to lure his wife to his bed b4 marriage, its a sin, But on the other way round, to keep your matrimonial home tight, A real man have to know his wife well eg characters etc if u dont know your wife's sex habit and marry her, it may affect the marriage bcos sex is marriage, if u r a man that loves sex too much and your wife dont like sex, its goona be an ugly problem or if your wife is a type that love sex buh the man is weak in bed,definitely your wife will be meeting young men outside marriage etc Tasting before buying is advisable
Onome:
As a girl who has grown up in a very religious family, I have taught to believe that abstinence is the only thing that matters. Not once have a received a talk about how to partake in safe sex and what not, but my parents believed that abstinence was the only thing I needed to know. Until recently I thought that abstinence was great, but then I read a book that opened my eyes. The book is called "The Purity Myth" by Jessica Valenti. The book basically discussed things like how the world is obsessed with virginity and how abstinence only education is severely flawed. The main point that I got out of the book is how we as Nigerians define a women as "good" if they do not engage in premarital sex and "bad" if they do engage in premarital sex. As a girl, my parents would always tell me premarital sex is bad and you won't be pure any more if you have sex before marriage. Therefore I was always cautious and careful to stay away from premarital sex because it would make me "bad" which I now know is not true. It's just insane how we feel that it is okay to classify a women as good or bad by their sexual choices. As a young feminist I have come to realize how wrong that is. I believe that a women's personality should not be based on their sexual choices so therefore if you want to have sex before marriage feel free to do and don't feel bad about it because it is not wrong, when making a choice as big as sex you should make the choice for yourself. Do not let society make that choice for you. So therefore having sex before marriage is not a bad thing, but hey if you choose to wait that's cool too. I just believe that sex should be your choice and if your choice to have sex is before marriage then don't let anyone guilt you into thinking you are now "bad" because of it. In the end a person should not be defined by their sexuality and that is why I support sex before marriage.
Sally:
Sex can often lead to pregnancy or something unfortunate like disease or other stuff. Let me explain it bit by bit.
1. Sex can lead to pregnancy which leads to responsibilities. A couple that doesn't want something serious like that, then that can lead to responsibilities and stress that they are not ready for or don't want. Plus imagine if a couple did it, then they broke up a few days later and they the guy leaves behind a pregnant girl. That can leave a mess for the girl.
2. Sex wasn't made for pleasure. It's a process of reproducing to ensure that the human species continues. People often think of it as some kind of thing made to please themselves and they don't take it seriously or think about the consequences for it.
3. Possible leftover mistakes. If an unmarried couple do it, then they don't last much longer, then someone is going to be hurt. The girl could be left pregnant and alone, or one of them is going to start feeling guilty and carry the pain of a mistake they can't take back.
Teens do it for fun without using their head and it leaves bad results for either one of them or both of them. Some people do it just because they want to and they are not thinking about what will come next, which is not a smart idea. Some people should learn to have self-control or else there is going to be bad consequences.
It is better to control yourself and not have sex until you are married because by then you will have matured (hopefully), you will have practiced self-control for a long time (hopefully) you will be in a serious commitment with someone and be able to plan things together. It's better and smarter to do it as a grown up person after a legal and approved marriage.
Stella:
Sex may be natural, but it's not okay if it's not with a husband or wife. In the bible, Mary was shunned because they thought she had sex and she wasn't married. Sex should show an emotional connection between two people and marriage shows commitment between two people so they go together. Plus, it causes so many problems because two people have sex and they think they're in love because the girl gets pregnant and after they get married, they realize they made a mistake and their child will suffer the worst of the divorce. The easiest thing to do is make sure you love someone and are married to them before you have sex with them
Your thoughts guys