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Battle of Wits: Blog Readers Olamide/Paschal & Lily Discuss Sex Before Marriage (Photos)

Lily,
I wont advise any woman even my worst enemy to marry a man who she has not tasted. There is a cousin of mine who was a victim of this type of shit encouraged by the church. They were doing brother and sister, no kissing, no spending time together, even after the useless man paid her bride price, my cousin wanted to seduce him but this man started accusing her of being possessed by evil spirit and commanded her that they must fast and pray to avert the evil spirit of sexual immorality. my cousin was so ashamed of herself and agreed to keep mute. fast forward to few days after their wedding, My cousin called home crying that her man embarked on prayers from their wedding day and that he is yet to end the prayer and that sex will spoil the prayer... in summary, the guy had a very tiny penis that required sucking before it will become erect and even at that, once he enters, he loses the erection and the sex ends there.
my cousin quit the marriage and has not been able to remarry though she is in a relationship with another pastor but I know say she don shine her eyes. Marriage is not relationship, in a relationship, you can quit if you wan do again but marriage is more serious and must be honored. please, encounter and understudy your partner before marriage. I have also read on this blog of a woman who complained that her husband wants sex 4 times every day even on her menses. what happened? did the man suddenly become that way? wouldnt she have discovered it before marriage? its situations like that that we must remember before we claim to be holier than Jesus. thank you



Olamide:
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My attention has been brought to showcase my talent in the love talk about the need for abstinence of bangalee before marriage and as a guru in the field, i owe all TILBERS the favour of dropping my yeye thoughts on the issue.
Ehen, so all over the world, it is stipulated for people to date or more like, do courtship before marriage to ascertain whether a particular couple is compatible for marriage, certain things are necessary to spice up the relationship to make it interesting.
In ideal terms, The use of communication, display of love and affection, to ability to be there for each other psychologically emotionally, physically, financially etc, romance are part of what is used to make butterflies wiggle joyfully in the bellies of the couples involved.
My problem with out society of today is that sex is now placed as a priority for people to date these days but rather, i say its placement as top priority is the downfall of most relationships today. You hear ladies talking about a guy and the first two questions they ask themselves are whether he has plenty money or he has the D? Guys would also be asking whether she get nyash or bobby lashly otherwise it is a dead zone for them to access.
People often mistaken love for sex for the same thing whilst they do not understand that love is more or less like building a house where you need a solid foundation for your to make it grow while sex is just a 20-30 minutes activity where you get orgasmized and then what next? Your head calms downs and you will be returned to normal state. Like an addiction when the urge comes again, you gas find a way to suppress it
Somebody reading this today would tell me 'but body no be fire wood na?'... oh yes it is a normal feeling which God has dashed us as humans but it does not mean one has to allowed it to becloud our thinking into making us believe that without sex, one will die.... And that is our mentality unfortunately.
A couple of us have dated several people, probably banged all of them sef... If you think submitting your body is enough to keep your man or woman then '...i am sorry, its too late!'... How many times has one been cheated upon despite the fact that you give your all (mind, love, affection... and not to mention the body) to your ex without being hurt more than a cardiac arrest.

Even sef i feel if you regularly have sex with your spouse in the name of love, you will bore him or her out when all the sex tactics have been discovered and there is nothing new to learn. You will definitely want to look for more.. ADVENTURE, therefore cheating occurs.
To me ooooo all the notion of thinking sex is love is all about the mind set. If we are able to difference between temporary pleasure and the process involve in building everlasting love, one would realize that sex is not everything.
There are many girls out there who can do a guy wonders in bed but cannot do a simple house chore or cook the ultimate food... Jollof rice! And later a guy will sit down and he saying he is looking for a wife. How many fine boys are there who are who also good at bugga bugga but are too lazy to look after themselves, not to mention a woman, or a family?

Sex should not be a major criteria for people to select a spouse for marriage. After all we are in the jet age, there are many ways one can learn how to be a wolf on bed for your spouse with the way we learn a lot of things on the internet so what is our problem?

To the guys that will look at me and ask whether i am a real man, oh yes i am happily straight and not transgender *grin*....
Now that i am done writing my jargon, i can now go back into hiding and wait for someone to oppose me before i come back again. Until then, peace out! am out y'all



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Paschal Macdon
.

To be honest Aunty Laila, this is a very controversial issue and I bet that both schools of thought will have a barrage of reasons to justify their stand; and the truth remains that people speak either from their repertoire of experiences as a consequence of massive mental configuration by many agents. Therefore, I will take my stand based on what I call "the reality"
I don't support premarital sex for the sole purpose of evaluating sexual compatibility. I mean, this can come out with many results. Firstly, the outcome cannot be limited to just two answers (good or bad sexual compatibility). Different ladies have different sexual characters. One may be good and the other may be better. The question then is " how many girls will a guy evaluate before he finally picks a wife? Could the answer be that guys are allowed to have sex with every lady that comes their way simply because he is testing compatibility? He can keep on testing and will end up creating a litany of sexual escapades from which he might not recover, or might even forget that he was looking for a match. This idea is very dangerous because he is going to get addicted and stands every possible danger of either contracting infections or ending up with the wrong person due to unwanted pregnancy.
Secondly, no particular person is 100% complete. This comes into consideration when I posit that marriage should not be hinged on sex, at least not to the extent that it becomes the sole criterion for choosing a partner. What she cannot offer in bed, she can make up for in being a good wife. Besides, which is more gratifying, having a sex goddess or having a good woman as a wife? A woman can actually be both, in which case the man becomes lucky. But when she cannot be a sex goddess and a good wife simultaneously, I would prefer marrying a good woman and therefore, will have no need to test compatibility by sleeping with her.
Thank you


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